Transformation

Today, I'm on top of the world. I love days like this. I feel energetic, the sun is shining brightly, and I'm filled with a real sense of optimism and excitement. In short, I'm feeling like my old self again.

This morning I jumped on the bathroom scale, and told it the same thing I do every morning: "Lie to me, you bastard!" As if intimidated by my outburst, the wheel bounced up past the number I hoped for, then quickly retreated to its final resting place. If that lying bastard of a scale can be believed, I'm down a couple more pounds. That's a great way to start the day.

Last night after work I got my hair cut. It was the first time in nearly 7 years that I'd visited a barber (or hair salon, or whatever - who can tell what they're called these days). My wife has always cut my hair, so in a sense, it was symbolic as well as practical.

Something else nice happened when I was in the barber chair: I got flirted with. As I've frequently said, everybody likes to know that they are attractive to the opposite sex. Toward the end of the haircut, my hair stylist asked if I wanted her to thin it out a little on top (I have very thick hair). I told her, "I have no idea. You're the expert; I trust your judgement. Just make me handsome." Her reply was quite nice to hear: "You're already handsome."

My daughter would no doubt roll her eyes at the exchange, but that's only because she's still too young to appreciate the finer nuances of the social dance that occurs between man and woman.

I'm scheduled to get my cover-up tattoo (which is a tribal dragon) today after work at 5:30. I'm extremely excited about it. I'll probably go in Wednesday night for other work, so by the end of the week, I'll be good to go.

Yes, things are looking up.

Life 2.0 Has Begun

"I became the butterfly. I got out of the cocoon, and I flew."

- Lynn Redgrave

I really think Friday was a pivotal moment for me. I realize there are still rough days ahead, but I feel like I've reached the summit, and things will finally get easier from here.

As I mentioned in the last post on my old blog, I'm reinventing myself. Today I'm motivated, energetic, and yes, happy. I even have things I'm looking forward to (like going on that cruise).

I didn't talk to my wife at all over the weekend, but I did have a brief phone conversation with her today. It ended when she said "I don't want to talk to you right now, I'm getting so angry." to which I replied "That's good. You deserve to be the one who's angry and hurt for a while." and hung up on her. I'm finished being the mouse. I've finally escaped the evil cat's clutches, and I won't go back under the paw. At some point, I need to love myself.

I took some time today to visit my neighborhood tattoo artist. Among the dumber things I've done in my life was getting her name tattooed on my arm. Fortunately, the artist came up with a very cool design to cover it up. In a sense, I'm erasing her -- both literally, and symbolically. I'm really excited to get this work done. I think it will bring a sense of closure, and it's part of the new me.

Thank you for continuing to read. I'm glad you made the trip to the new blog. You keep reading, I'll keep writing, and together we'll get through this.